So, who/what is the most important person/thing in your life? A lot of people will automatically list their significant other, boss, or their job as their top priority – along with earning money, supporting their family, and having something (hopefully fulfilling) to occupy themselves with.
I’ve noticed that for many of us the most important person in our lives happens to be someone outside of us. It’s usually a person we’re trying to please, which leads us to completely forego the most important relationship any of us will ever have, the one we have with ourselves.
Today, I want to focus on self-love. A love that recognizes that making the decision to look after and love ourselves means to take responsibility for our own health, happiness, and to take responsibility for all of our actions. When we do this everyone in our lives, those who truly love us and understand us, will not only benefit, but may also be driven to do the same for themselves. Here are some tips to help you rev up the self-love in your life.
8 ways to practice self-love.
– start with “emotional” affirmations. so, repeating basic things like ‘i’m gorgeous/beautiful/perfect’ is a good start, but in order to really get down deep its great to start incorporating more emotional and personal ideals about ourselves. words that generate feelings. things like ‘i will not worry about things that are out of my control’, or ‘i am taking positive steps towards a brighter future everyday’. find something positively phrased that sits well with you and repeat it daily. make sure to use statements that begin with ‘i am’ to focus your affirmations in the now – not the future. practicing this can help change your mindset & overcome years of unfortunate conditioning.
– participate in things that you do well. it’s so important to schedule time for things that you’re good at. doing this will help you remind yourself how capable you are. take the time to play the piano, bake cookies, do some handiwork – even helping someone can have a positive effect on you. these are all ways to boost self-love and ignite your confidence and self-esteem.
– be gracious in accepting praise. a lot of us become embarrassed or uncomfortable while receiving praise or compliments. instead of shrugging it off – smile, be gracious & absorb it. that way everyone concerned feels good.
– tackle overwhelming tasks. break tough to-do’s into small lil’ pieces. self-love can suffer when we feel suffocated or don’t know where to start. fear and perfectionism may play a part in this state of mind. if so, take the time to address those issues.
– learn to say ‘no’ well. NO can be the most positive word in your vocabulary when used in the right way, at the right time, and with the right person. without it you can end up running yourself ragged, feeling used, resentful and stressed out. watch how others respond to your decision to take back your power by saying no – this reveals a lot.
– ask for help. do you expect other people to be psychic and know what’s going on in your mind, how you’re feeling, what you need? practice self-love by communicating what you need from others. communication is also about listening well, so be interested and attentive in your relationships and allow them to thrive.
– take a break. breaks are an important part of managing stress and learning to love and respect yourself. notice the times when you typically start to feel unwell, tense, edgy and find ways to take breaks before it happens. go outside for a walk, enjoy some fruit, read a book, listen to music, or take a relaxing bath.
– learn to say ‘yes’ at times. self-love is about stepping outside your comfort zone & occasionally scaring yourself a little. too often when we say ‘yes’ to seemingly impossible opportunities it’s amazing how doors start to open to support those situations. keep a ‘happy’ or ‘success’ book and record those mini-triumphs. then, you’ll have a log which supports you in more difficult times.
self-love engages all the different elements of your life. establish those strong roots so that the flower can grow confident and firm, and will be able to weather the storms that come its way. then, when you look in the mirror, you’ll see a positive reflection of yourself that’s vibrant, happy, and ready to break free of limits.
connect: @ishafloyd on twitter / insta